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M AY 2016 93 Fiction By John Manderino ecrater.com The Thing Carol Saw A fter lunching at Applebees Carol and her small aging mother visited a gift shop in the mall in search of a little ceram- ic shepherd boy to go with the little shep- herd girl on the shelf in her mothers living room. As it turned out the shop carried a little shepherd girl but no boy. Carols moth- er asked the overweight shop lady why they would carry a little shepherd girl but no lit- tle shepherd boydid that make sense The shop lady explained that the little shepherd girl was in fact Bo Peep and that there wasnt any mention of a shepherd boy in the rhyme was there And she even be- gan to recite Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep Stop that Carols mother told her and pointed up at the womans big round face Do you know what you are Mom. Youre an obnoxious overweight cow she informed the woman then turned around and hobbled straight out of the shop. Lets go Carol. Come on. Carol apologized to the shop lady. Sometimes she justshe tends to get The shop lady touched Carols arm nod- ding sympathetically I understand dear. Carol wished to be held in the shop ladys lap and rocked and told nursery rhymes. Carol are you coming All the way home in the car her mother complained bitterly. She began with the in- sulting shop lady moved on to Carols fail- ure to remain married then turned to her own life since Carols father died two years ago. On the moon was the way she felt that was how desolate as if she were wan- dering around on the moon. So she con- cluded even if they had found a little shepherd boy that wouldnt have made any real difference she would still wish that she were dead. Mother I know I know. Approaching her mothers driveway Carol slowed and was about to pull in but saw some- thing furry shimmying up the drain pipe at the side of the house. What are you doing her mother asked as Carol continued past the driveway. I justI thoughtI heard a funny noise. Funny noise whatre you talking about In the engine. I want to drive around see if I can hear it better. I dont hear any funny Shh. Was it a raccoon Carol did you just shush me A baby gorilla Dont ever shush me. Do you understand A midget in a fur coat I said do you understand I do Mother yes. Whatever it was if her mother saw it she would never go in the house again. She would move in with Carol. So Carol continued driv- ing around giving the thing plenty of time to climb back down and go away. I have to use the toilet Carol. You can use mine. No. Take me home. You can listen to your funny noise after you drop me off. But Carol turned left at the next street and began heading towards her apartment a mile away. Carol turn around. Whats wrong with using my toilet I cant relax. I need to relax. Turn around Carol. Now. Fine. Fine. Using someones driveway