{"id":20331,"date":"2021-07-22T09:00:28","date_gmt":"2021-07-22T13:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/?p=20331"},"modified":"2021-07-22T10:23:17","modified_gmt":"2021-07-22T14:23:17","slug":"dont-go-there-dont-do-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/dont-go-there-dont-do-that\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t Go There, Don&#8217;t Do That"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"position:relative;padding-top:max(60%,326px);height:0;width:100%\"><iframe sandbox=\"allow-top-navigation allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation allow-downloads allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-modals allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"position:absolute;border:none;width:100%;height:100%;left:0;right:0;top:0;bottom:0;\" src=\"https:\/\/e.issuu.com\/embed.html?backgroundColor=%23e4e4e4&#038;d=july_august_2021&#038;hideIssuuLogo=true&#038;pageNumber=34&#038;u=portlandmagazine\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p>Don&#8217;t say we didn&#8217;t warn you.<\/p>\n<p>From Staff &amp; Wire Reports<\/p>\n<p>This is the forest primeval. In the shadow of a stand of murmuring pines, nestled among the needles, you see a Lady\u2019s Slipper. It\u2019s so lovely it must be from Eden. You approach it slyly and gently close your fingers around its slender stem. You rip it from the ground!<\/p>\n<p><em>See the full story\u00a0in the digital magazine above.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-20343\" src=\"http:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb.jpg\" alt=\"dontdothat_fb\" width=\"1200\" height=\"630\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb-300x158.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb-768x403.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb-200x105.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/dontdothat_fb-620x326.jpg 620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Things we are never, ever, ever allowed to do in Vacationland.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20342,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20331"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20331\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20367,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20331\/revisions\/20367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20342"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}