![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/colin08.jpg\" "\\"colin08\\"")
<\/a>Thanks to a neologism dreamed up by Jacques Lacan<\/strong> (1901-1981), we can suffer from ex<\/em>timacy issues, too.<\/p>\nSay you and your loved one are snuggled in front of a stone fireplace with two free glasses of Courvoisier<\/em> VSOP Five Star cognac (hey, it\u2019s my example). A rainstorm lifts over the waves, glides toward your complimentary oceanfront rental cottage like a blue veil, luminous at twilight. You whisper loving secrets to one another\u2013it\u2019s so romantic, you may even propose. Depending on how many clich\u00e9s you use, that\u2019s intimacy.<\/p>\n Now throw in a crashing thunderstorm. Strangers run toward you from their cars. Brian Williams is on TV, telling us it\u2019s this week\u2019s Storm of the Century. The storm is so drenched with media it has its own theme music. The beach evacuation team bangs on your door. Quick\u2013enjoy a kiss. You\u2019re a heartbeat away from achieving extimacy.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a M\u00f6bius strip. One side of your experience is extremely subjective, endearing, your unconscious sense of self. The other side is as overexposed as Alec Baldwin.<\/p>\n Baldwin stayed at The Inn on Carleton on the West End a few years ago. \u201cIt was the most bizarre thing,\u201d former innkeeper Sue Cox told us. \u201cHe got in late Friday night. After he\u2019d been in his room for a little bit, he came downstairs and visited the bar for a chat with my daughter, husband, and me. \u2018I\u2019d like to have a piece of pie and a glass of milk,\u201d he said. \u201cWhere could I get that?\u201d<\/p>\n Intimacy? Not precisely. There was no pie or milk. Extimacy<\/em>!<\/p>\n It\u2019s your private interiority splayed across a cosmic geography, the human heart bowled through icy space. How frightening the twitterscape seems\u2013jillions of innocents toplessly disclosing shy worlds with nobody bothering even to \u2018like\u2019 it. Sea monkeys are more passionate.<\/p>\n Next time you\u2019re deep in thought, released among the vast eternals of a beach, think of the private you and you on the Other side of the mirror.<\/p>\n Maybe that\u2019s why, as summer rushes near, we locals and our intimates love to pretend we\u2019re tourists\u2013to sample Maine\u2019s restaurants and hotels during the secret weekends before the madding summer crowd gets here. Our month of May might as well be an official holiday\u2013when we <\/em>are they<\/em>.<\/p>\n May 2013 Thanks to a neologism dreamed up by Jacques Lacan (1901-1981), we can suffer from extimacy issues, too. Say you and your loved one are snuggled in front of a stone fireplace with two free glasses of Courvoisier VSOP Five Star cognac (hey, it\u2019s my example). A rainstorm lifts over the waves, glides toward […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":247,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[27],"class_list":["post-7648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editor","tag-may-2013"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7648"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14461,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7648\/revisions\/14461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.portlandmonthly.com\/portmag\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"