You may be looking for a nostalgic ride,but watch for the Bumper Car hooligans.Remember,you’re not one of the sandlot kids anymore. J u ly / A u g u s t 2 0 1 8 6 7 from top: filipp kotsishevskiy; courtesy photo; meaghan maurice; filipp kotsishevskiy; meaghan maurice; stephan bailey On the way over, we pass a sobbing child, light-up sneakers flashing as she bolts for it. “But I want to ride THAT one! It’s not fair!” Her mother chases after her, assuring her the day will soon come. Back straight- ened, I step up the metal ramp. For you, lit- tle one. The four of us line up, taking over the gate of the lead car as the riders before us pull in. “Hope you didn’t eat your pier fries yet,” a barrel-chested man laughs as he steps out. His wife rolls her eyes. Before I know it, I’m stuck. The safe- ty bar is down; the ride attendant double- checks. Is he sure? Can he check again? “He seems distracted.” “He’s not.” Too late, anyway. The cars are slow- ly pulled up the incline, inching us to our